Unemployed or Out of Work?

This was in my email inbox this morning.

Why don’t we hear about this on the news???

Abbot and Costello

COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America.
ABBOTT: Good subject. Terrible times. It’s about 9%.

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?
ABBOTT: No, that’s 16%.

COSTELLO: You just said 9%.
ABBOTT: 9% unemployed.

COSTELLO: Right: 9% out of work.
ABBOTT: No, that’s 16%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it’s 16% unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, that’s 9%.

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 9% or 16%?
ABBOTT: 9% are unemployed. 16% are out of work.

COSTELLO: If you’re out of work you’re unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, you can’t count the “Out of Work” as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.

COSTELLO: But … They’re out of work!
ABBOTT: No, you miss my point.

COSTELLO: What point?
ABBOTT: Someone who doesn’t look for work can’t be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn’t be fair.

COSTELLO: To whom?
ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: But they’re ALL out of work.
ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work… Those who are out of work stopped looking. They gave up. If you give up, you’re no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

COSTELLO: So if you’re off the unemployment roles, that would count as less unemployment?
ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment goes down just because you don’t look for work?
ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That’s how you get to 9%. Otherwise it would be 16%. You don’t want to read about 16% unemployment do ya?

COSTELLO: That would be frightening.
ABBOTT: Absolutely.

COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?
ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?
ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?
ABBOTT: Bingo.

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to just stop looking for work.
ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like an economist.

COSTELLO: I don’t even know what the hell I just said!

And now you know why Pres Obama’s unemployment figures are improving.

Stimulus Package Explained

This lovely joke ended up in my inbox today courtesy of my friend Dave.

INTERESTING….

It’s a slow day in the small town of Pumphandle, TN and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.

A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.

As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

(Stay with this…..and pay attention)

The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.

The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.

The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her “services” on credit.

The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.

(Almost done…keep reading)

The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.

No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole town now thinks that they are out of debt and there is a false atmosphere of optimism and glee.

And that, my friends, is how a “stimulus package” works!

Help Bring Jobs to Virginia

How would you have responded to this email I received? Comment and I will compile the list and send it back to them.

Hello,

I hope this email finds you well. I am ###### ####### and I am with the Virginia Department of Business. I am contacting you in response to some comments you left when responding to our recent survey.

You comment said that you have too many comments and suggestions to list. Here at the Virginia DBA we would like to hear them. The Commonwealth is looking everywhere we can for ideas that will help get people back to work. The one thing that I ask is that when you send us your ideas make sure to select “reply all” to this email so that it will also go to our Director of Business Information Services, ##### #######. Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you,

###### ######
Virginia Department of Business Assistance

Let’s Subsidize Some Poison

How much poison do you eat, on purpose, every day, and pay extra for it with your taxes without even realizing it? The truth is, a lot more than you probably think. You see, your taxes subsidize U.S. farmers. Here in the U.S., farmers grow corn… LOTS of corn… mountains of it every year. Corn is used to make High Fructose Corn Syrup, and that stuff is in everything from worchestire sauce to Gatorade. This video takes an hour and a half to watch, and it does have some technical mumbo jumbo in it. The video is a year or two old, but the chemistry and the science are still the same. Regardless, even non-medical people should be able to watch this and understand the underlying message: stop poisoning yourself and your family.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBnniua6-oM[/youtube]

The Bayh Dole Act

One thing I learned over the years is that if a work is created by the government, it is in the public domain. This means if a book is written, a work of art painted, or even a photograph snapped by the government, it belongs to everyone and they can use it to their liking with or without the creator’s permission. This includes use for profitable and commercial purposes. Today I learned that there is more than meets the eye. Enter the Bayh Dole Act.

I noticed on the White House website that the government was somehow charging for use of patents created through government funding. Since I thought the government’s work was all public domain, this confused me a little. I decided to ask someone in the know. I found a ranking U.S. Department of Energy official’s email address and asked her. Her response was:

“Lab IP is owned by Lab M&O contractor, unless they pass on it back to ther federal govt.
See Bayh Dole”

After reading the Wikipedia article in detail, I thanked her for the information and went on about my day. Then it hit me… what if, for example, I funded billions of dollars of research and came up with a widget and patented it. Then the government decided to fund research for a similar widget and let the researcher keep the patent? My widgets would, understandably, be ridiculously overpriced to absorb the R&D costs whereas my competition could charge a percentage and still make huge profits. Something just isn’t right about that. How do we fix it? I can certainly think of a few ideas. Perhaps it is time for some grant funding reform.

The Haircut

Today’s Mailbag found a joke from Paul B. I had received this one a time or two before. Worthy of a laugh.


One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you , I’m doing community service this week.’  The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, ‘I can not accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The Congressman was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Starving the Monkeys

I caught this video off a link from a friend’s Facebook wall (it was in a comment).

http://www.youtube.com/user/StarveMonkeyPress

Interesting theories, so I think I will grab Mr. Baugh’s book sometime soon to learn more about his line of thought. Have you read it? If so, leave a comment below and let me know what you thought.

Clinton Portrait

Yet another mailbag joke courtesy of Dave W. (trust me when I say that my decision to do this mailbag->blog thing will involve a lot of Dave W. content). I lived in the Washington D.C. area when the whole Monica Lewinsky scandal went down. What a fiasco!


Clinton Portrait

The Clinton Library is now open & and they’ve revealed the Official Portrait…


Congressional Reform Act of 2011

The mailbag hits just keep on coming. During my run for U.S. House, I received this one (or variations of it) multiple times. Usually at least once a day. It was sent again today via Carolyn B. Have an opinion on it? Leave a comment below!


The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people demanded it. That was in 1971…before computers, before e-mail, before cell phones, etc.

Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or less to become the law of the land…all because of public pressure.

I’m asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of twenty people on their address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise.

In three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message. This is one idea that really should be passed around.

Congressional Reform Act of 2011

1. Term Limits.

12 years only, one of the possible options below..

A. Two Six-year Senate terms

B. Six Two-year House terms

C. One Six-year Senate term and three Two-Year House terms

2. No Tenure / No Pension.

A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office.

3. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security.

All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people.

4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do.

5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

6. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

7. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people.

8. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective 1/1/11.

The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen. Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves.


Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s), then go home and back to work.

If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take three days for most people (in the U.S. ) to receive the message. Maybe it is time.

THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!!!!! If you agree with the above, pass it on. If not, just delete

You are one of my 20+. Please keep it going.